Lord is testing my patience :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) again

Death TW ⚠️ | Sometimes I deliberately sabotage my own wellness. Like I purposely make it hard to live more than it already is. I don’t tak care of myself, don’t take my medication, don’t do anything. Some kinda punishment; or experiment of how far I can go, how much I can take. And always, there is someone - who I actually care about - asks me to take care of myself. And I should fight this huge amount of urge of making my life shorter and try to defuse this battle between my will to die sooner and my love for them.

• Sometimes I wish I had no one and me not being here didn’t make that much damage.

اکنون که پیدایت کرده‌ام بنشین تماشایت کنم...

۱۴۰۳ چند درجه روشن‌تر شروع شد، با حضورش.

• Grateful